Thursday, February 9, 2012

Slow and Steady wins the Race!! Well that's what my Chick told me :)

A wise 7 year old little person once said to me when I was driving a bit faster than I should have to church one day "Slow and Steady wins the race"(Aesop) momma (chick)!"  Of course, I immediately slowed down in part due to shock from the wisdom that came from "out of the mouth of a babe"(Psalm 8:2) for sure , and because she was right.  Most importantly I have now started hearing voices in my head... little ones repeating the same little quote I guess to remind me to slow down and savor this impending victory that I have set a course out for.  But WOW how SLOW it has been.  It is all my fault, I cannot blame anyone for my delay in progression.  So the lesson of accountability has begun.

I cannot say that all has been lost, I did start walking, noooo it has not been daily but in my mind I do walk daily.  The times that I have walked have brought me great pleasure.  The more I think about the events or lack there of, I realize that a lot has to do with me being so disorganized.  I don't know where it began, but I do want to know where it is going to END!  So little by little I have begun clearing a lot of things away.  One of the things that I have done, is start letting go of the past.  For those of you who recall one of my earlier posts Self Disclosure of a Love in MIND, .  That post was very real and life changing.  After I wrote that post in many ways I began to live again, and at the same time see things from a different perspective.  One of the things I realized is that I was keeping things that in essence were like bricks that continuously held me down.  For example despite having let my Love go for this individual was a major step, but after finding a letter that I had once written to him, I realized that the process of elimination was not yet complete.  The good that did come out of it is that throughout the years when I would stumble upon the letter, I would sit and read it and of course allow it to depress me.  This time without any hesitation of any sort I ripped the letter up and threw it out.  What an Empowering Act of recovery!  The best part of it all was that there was no sign of regret for doing it only joy.  Now I am not going to lie, he does run across my mind from time to time, but I quickly dismiss the thought with love knowing that it no longer serves me a purpose to constantly reminisce about things that are long gone. 

I may ruffle a few feathers here who believe in the school of journaling, but I find that these are bricks that form and become weights of your past on paper.  Like my never delivered love letter, a journal is just a reminder of the pain that one has now trapped for later revision.  Don't get me wrong though, when I journaled about some of the strange dreams I had in the past and when I would come across those journals, I was quite surprised to see how some of the dreams that I had in some way or another manifested.  So I guess (for me that is) I now choose to journal about positive things vs. the negative.  I no longer want to dwell on my past hurts, I want to Keep it Positive and most importantly keep it Grateful!!  Since I have a different approach towards journaling my gratitude I find that wonderful things have been happening.  I cannot explain it other than internally I feel my spirit shifting and I feel more at peace.  One major reason is because I have made my focus to be God centered.  You can center it on what makes your feel good, I have just chosen to center my attention around God.

I guess the lesson that I have to share today is to start freeing yourself!  Start running with the wind instead of against it for it will always slow you down when you do.  Personally I find that I have often tried going against the grain and took pride in doing so, yet lately I have realized that not matter how you run toward the wave, it will always knock you down or cause you to duck and cover.  Embrace what is NOW and LET GO of what was.................